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"Always Remember-Silence of good men is more dangerous than brutality of bad men”

How skewed Sex Ratio affecting Patel community in Gujarat 



One social malady can kill another. Twenty-seven-year-old Darshita Parmar, a dalit vankar of Mehsana, got married to Param Patel, 27, of Unjha on Tuesday. This arranged marriage assumes significance as it transcends the caste barrier that prevails in the hinterland of Gujarat.

This marriage is also an indicator of how the skewed sex ratio afflicting the Patel community has led to greater acceptance of a girl from a backward community as their daughter-in-law in Mehsana, one of the worst affected districts as far as female feticide is concerned.

The Patel community and dalits do not find themselves on the same page when it comes to the social fabric. But, the families of the two and the community exhibited a greater sense of maturity and allowed the marriage to be solemnized according to Hindu tradition. The marriage has given a ray of hope to many others. Hundred Patels from Unjha went to Mehsana and attended the marriage.

Darshita, daughter of Arvind Parmar of Mehsana, has been working as primary teacher at government primary school in Anjar. Her father is a chief manager at the inspection and audit department of Bank of Baroda at Gandhi Road. Darshita has done her MA in English and is also armed with BEd.

Param Patel, son of late Kantibhai Patel, is also a teacher at Kheralu, Mehsana, and has done his MA in English and BEd.

Bound by destiny, these two have their own share of disabilities. Darshita has white spots, while Param is partially disabled by his left hand.

Arvind Parmar, first tired to get her daughter married in his own community, but no one came forward to marry her and sighted white spots as a matter of rejection. Then Arvind thought of placing a matrimonial advertisement in local news paper and it worked as Param approached the family and proposed to marry Darshita. The couple got engaged on 17 February this year.

Members of both the community agreed to the marriage and did not object despite both belonging to different communities. This assumes significance as last year in April, a dalit family of Tajpur village of Sabarkantha district, some 100 km from Ahmedabad, was targeted by other community when it tried to take out a marriage procession. Despite police bandobast, the procession was attacked and stoned.

Moreover, members from both the communities helped in solemnizing the marriage. Talking to TOI, Arvind Parmar said that member of his own community rejected his daughter just because she had white spots, and no one was willing to marry her educated and self-independent daughter, hence he took the matrimonial route. He said that he feels proud and is thankful to the Patel community for coming forward and accepting his daughter as their daughter-in-law.

Param while talking to TOI said that prior meeting to Darshita he had seen 10-15 girls from his community. But, he was not impressed. He needed a life partner who was sensitive and could understand him and would support him in taking the life forward. Moreover, when he met Darshita it was love at first sight and he personally does not believe in caste system. He says that his marriage would be example to others and people from both the community would live in peace.